"I'm all about self-expression and being yourself. Dance like no one is watching...sing till your lungs burst. Write your heart out. Dream bigger dreams. Peace. Love. Writing."
ehrlich. I learned this new word in German and it means honesty. It's an important word to know and even, more important that it is understood. Honesty could be considered overrated in society but I firmly believe success in life is rare when one is not honest with themself. It's always said acceptance is the first step to healing, it is. When you are honest with yourself from the get-go you prevent a lot of damage control. I'm doing damage control. It's become so perfunctory for me to lie to myself that I'm miserable. A little harsh much... no? It's time to face reality. I'm setting a double standard and I think part of that is because I took a too long blogging hiatus. When I blog I try to put fourth something that inspires...not nessecarily something inspiring to anyone but something that pushes towards a goal. Although my blogs tend to seem frivulous and get run-on ish... that's okay it's my inspiration. I need to stop trying to appease everyone and be sure they're happy. I need to be honest with myself and fix my own problems whether it upsets people or not. My life right now is corrupt... I've lost touch with my writing and myself. I don't exercise enough and my body is always tired...my emotions always conflicted. I need to be able to tell others that it's ME time, and not worry about how they feel about that. I have to honestly say Katarzyna...you're causing your own downfall. STOP. Slow down and fix this before it's too late.
We talked about evolution in Women's Studies and how it is definded. Does evolution always mean progress...does it mean one can't draw from the past...does going back to your roots, what you know, regression? I personally think grow isn't just an upwards and onwards thing, it can happen within something as well, like within yourself. What may apppear to be regression to one is a grand learning experiance for another. Sometimes your best bet is to backtrack to find what you're looking for.
What am I looking for? Being content could get boring too... I don't expect a lack of problems by no means a charmed life or to become an isolated hermit. I love my family, but I need space. I love writing and my friends, we need time together. Balance needs to be returned to my life and in order for that to happen I have to realize that sometimes I just need to come first. The people I love should understand that I can't be perfect. I'm not perfect. My life is full of corruption and destruction...but from this point on I am determined to evolve into a better version of myself.
"I'm all about self-expression and being yourself. Dance like no one is watching...sing till your lungs burst. Write your heart out. Dream bigger dreams. Peace. Love. Writing."
Time to take my own advice and live my MY motto not anyone elses.
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