Freunde--> Friends

My childhood was less than normal. My whole life has been less than normal, but then again who sets that standard? It's another one of those invisible but oh so visible and influential things. It's frustrating...but personally I'm proud to not equal the norm. I bring this up due to my friends history. Kids sum you up based on a first impression and what surrounds you. as you grow older the selection of quality friends becomes easier, or it's supposed to. When I was little had plenty of friends...and then I still did...but I've never felt safe with them. I mean I know they're not going to jump me...well they might but all in good fun. But trust. trust is a really hard thing. I've had people hurt me who I thought I could depend on and it's really messed me up. No one is to blame for how I am but me, but optimism and me aren't the best of friends. A guy screwed up my "romantic" life for good I do believe. Being used is awful...but finding someone you can really truly call on whenever is the best feeling in the world.

I always knew I'd probably not keep friends to adulthood that I made in elementary or middle school or even know. But the literal love of my life will always be with me no matter where our lives take us. We're not perfect, but I understand her I like to think and boy oh boy does she understand me. I still worry that I'm doing something that will ruin everything. Losing friends happens brutally and out of the blue with me. I hate it. but her I know I'll always have. I trust her and honestly I trust no-one. I feel like high school does that to people, ruins there trust. Perhaps college will expose me to more seasoned friends. But my love, is perfect and I never want to lose her. We're made for each other. I believe she was sent to me to make me realize that not everyone will screw me over. I can trust someone. Not everyone lies constantly and talks badly behind my back. It's okay to feel like someone is a true friend. She's taught me that and I sure hope I've taught her something and that she can depend on me. I have nothing but good things to say in front of and behind her back. I LOVE HER.

Tonight I went to her terribly upset and just needing someone and somehow she gives me perspective without any direct advice at all. She makes me feel loved. And that's what friends are for. :)